White coat. Heels.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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