Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
