So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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