how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i think my cat just said my name.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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