so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
