just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
