loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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