Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
