What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
