That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think your dad took our porno
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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