i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize