I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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