so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize