Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
