dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
