Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
