There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
