yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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