scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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