super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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