WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
