I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
