I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
