Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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