you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
yes thatโs a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. Iโve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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