That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
