I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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