You really coming over, don't trick.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
