also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize