Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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