Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
