Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
