Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How does one acquire holy water?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
