I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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