Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize