I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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