We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize