I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
