Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
