WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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