We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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