Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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