meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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