You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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