Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize