she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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