Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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