just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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