just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Found your dick twin last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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