i already hear my dad disowning me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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