He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
