so explain again why im purple
no
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
