yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
