I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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