not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
