okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
