I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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