there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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